The Animaniatrix
by origreatguy
Summary: Not to be confused with The Animatrix. This is a crossover of Matrix and Animaniacs, and was what my dad thought the Animatrix was before I told him. Please R/R.


The Animaniatrix  
  
A crossover by origreatguy  
  
I don't own WB, Village Roadshow Pictures, or any company associated with Matrix or Animaniacs, as well as Matrix and Animaniacs themselves. So there.  
  
Chapter 1: The Zero  
  
A computer screen sat blank, with a green cursor flashing. It sat there for a long time. Finally words zipped across the screen.  
  
"Yaaaawwwn... must have went into sleep mode a while. Hello, what's this?"  
"Call trans opt received something something 4/24/99. Tracing number." The now serious computer listened to and recorded the conversation as well.  
  
"Yeah," a male voice said.  
  
"Is everything drawn and inked?" a very, VERY cute female voice asked. She waited a while. "I SAID, IS EVERYTHING DRAWN AND INKED??" the voice said, no longer cute.  
  
"Sheesh," said the man. "By the way, you weren't supposed to relieve me."  
  
"I know, I just felt like taking a shift." The computer found the area code. 555-***-**** was now on the top of the screen.  
  
"You like him, don't you?" the man teased. "You like watching his show."  
  
"Don't be stupid." The numbers continued to appear on the top of the screen, now showing 555-*5*-***5.  
  
"We're going to erase him," the man said, no longer playing around. "Do you understand that? He'll be an old idea, just like the others."  
  
"Yakko believes he is the Zero." The computer was very close to finding the number, which now showed as 555-*55-55*5. The computer had to take a break every once in a while, and was finding this tracing very difficult.  
  
"Do you?"  
  
"It doesn't matter what I believe," said the cute-sounding girl.  
  
"You don't, do you?" the man challenged. The computer finally finds out the number as being 555-555-5555. It punished itself for being so stupid that it couldn't realize that number. The digital wailing found its way onto the phone conversation.  
  
"Did you hear that?" the cute voice said.  
  
"Yeah, it sounded like you."  
  
"I better go."  
  
The Toon Police were right outside the room with the female Animaniac. She hung up the phone and sat on the chair, waiting for those pathetic fools. The police broke open the door and pointed their pink erasers at her.  
  
"Police! Freeze! Hands on your head, now!" She silently complied.  
  
-----------------  
  
Outside the hotel where the scene took place, a black car drove up to the mass of police cars in the area. A really slick black man in sunglasses and a black suit stepped out of the car followed by another man, this one white, in exactly the same clothes.  
  
"Lieutenant!" the black man called.  
  
"Oh, ****, it's the Men in Black again." He paused suddenly, dumbfounded as to why he said the word "asterisk" four times in a row. I decided to alleviate that thought so he could get on with the story. All at once I popped up out of nowhere, in exactly the same clothes as the men who stepped out of the black car.  
  
"You said the word "asterisk" four times in a row because I made you do it. I won't have swearing where the Animaniacs are involved. In any other case I would either allow it, or be angered and perform the Snap of Non- Existence on you. So get on with the fic." I disappeared before he could respond.  
  
"Who were you talking to?" the black man asked the lieutenant.  
  
"Uh... no one."  
  
"Well, that explains your incompetence. You were given specific orders."  
  
"**** you, you son of a ****ing *****."  
  
The men in suits looked at each other for a moment, with a face that clearly said "This man is insane." There was an awkward silence, until Agent Will Smith said something to the asterisk-spouting lieutenant.  
  
"Your men are seriously beat up." He entered the hotel wondering why he had said "seriously beat up" instead of "dead".  
  
-----------------  
  
An officer took his handcuffs and tried to put them on Dot. He succeeded. He was wondering why this was so easy until he looked at Dot and saw her, clean out of the cuffs.  
  
"How did you-"  
  
"First, talk to me by my proper name," Dot said. "I'm Princess Angelina Contessa Louisa Francesca Banana Fana Bo Besca III."  
  
An officer whistled in disbelief. "I pity the other Princess Angelina Cotess Louie Banana Fana Bo Francesca's before you."  
  
"ARE YOU SAYING YOU DON'T LIKE MY NAME?!? *******!" Dot was used to this asterisk-swearing, so I didn't have to interrupt the story. Before the offending officer could speak (or think, for that matter), Dot flogged him upside the head with a trusty Acme Sledgehammer. She then tossed the hammer into a crowd of police, knocking them down like bowling pins. The few who were conscious tried throwing their pink erasers at Dot, who caught them all with her Acme Eraser-Proof Gloves. After she threw her newfound weapons at her assailants, only one officer was still moving. An Acme Sproingy-Boxing Glove defeated him easily. Dot surveyed the scene, and picked up the phone to call someone.  
  
"Yakko, the line was traced. And if I knew how this wouldn't have happened, alright? So don't ask."  
  
"Whatever," Yakko replied. "They cut the cable line. You have no time, you're going to have to get to another camera."  
  
"Are there any Men in Black?"  
  
"Yes."  
  
"****."  
  
"You have to focus, Dot. There's a water tower at the left turn at Albuquerque. (A/N: The Animanaiacs live in the WB water tower in the show.) You can make it," Yakko assured.  
  
"Whatever," Dot answered.  
  
"Go." Dot obeyed and ran out the door, where -  
  
"Hold it!" Agent Will Smith called out.  
  
"What's the problem?" I asked, popping onto the scene.  
  
"The script says Agent Brown starts chasing Dot. But we don't have an Agent Brown, just an Agent Will Smith and an Agent Tommy Lee Jones."  
  
"Don't worry about that. I can be Agent Brown. I've always wanted to be an agent, actually." I whisked Will Smith to his proper place and began the pursuit.  
  
As I walked to the hall where Dot was, police close behind, Dot ran ****ing fast in the opposite direction. Fortunately for the agents, I ran ****ING ****ing fast. The police ran behind me ****ing medium. As Dot went on the fire escape and went on the roof, I swore under my breath that I would never have such unfit cops at my disposal again.  
  
I traced Dot's steps and followed her on the roof, followed 15 seconds later by the wannabe cops. I will never for the life of me find out how they managed to jump those pitifully short gaps in their way. Dot made it to a main street and jumped clear across to the next building. I, being author, did the same thing with style.  
  
"That's impossible!" a cop said.  
  
"Nothing's impossible!" I called back to him after I was done with my third mid-air flip. I searched the roof of the building for Dot, but was too late because she hurled herself from the building into a nearby window.  
  
Rolling down the stairs, Dot landed at the bottom and pointed her pink erasers at the window.  
  
"Come on, get up Dot," she said to herself. "GET UP OR I'LL HURT MYSELF!" She dashed down the next flight of stairs and out the door, where she found the big, white water tower. She also found a big, black wrecking ball operated by Agent Will Smith.  
  
"Oh, WHY must I always climb up stairs?" Dot complained. Nevertheless, she scaled the endless flights while Will Smith fleetingly attempted to pummel the water tower to the ground. In that weird way that cartoons go through doors, she went through the water tower door. In that very moment, Will Smith finally managed to smash the tower down.  
  
Agent Tommy Lee Jones and I joined Smith as he surveyed the scene. Dot could not be found.  
  
"She got out," I told Will.  
  
"Doesn't matter. The chicken is real."  
  
"No he's not, he's a car-" Agent Tommy Lee Jones tried to say.  
  
"Quiet, you," I ordered as I zipped his lips (literally, I'm the author after all).  
  
"We have the name of their next target," Smith told us.  
  
"The name is Wakko," I told them.  
  
"We'll need a search running."  
  
"It has already begun," Agent Jones said after I unzipped his lips. 


End file.
